Questions/Interview (Primary research)

Interview with Mrs L. Hood

I can’t recall the moment that my struggle began. It was a slow, all consuming malignancy enveloping me, leaving me unable to function as a normal human being. I had been introduced to the elephant and told I had to get it through the loft hatch...but no one told me how.

I remember I would often find myself crying uncontrollably, terrorised by an unknown enemy that was preying only on me. I gazed with envy at my friends, wishing I could find the peace of mind that they had, yet unable to vocalise my distress. If I didn’t understand it, how would anyone else? My family and friends knew things had changed for me, but similarly did not know how to approach the subject.

And so the elephant remained in the corner of the room.

For the next few months the unwelcome guest continued to taunt me, whispering its disgust, until finally it had taken everything, leaving just the empty shell of the woman I had once been.

I gave up the job that I loved and hid myself away. But the demon continued in its quest to completely destroy me. Eventually I succumbed, sinking into the black depths of despair.

As I faced The road to hell...I knew I was going to have to fight this psychological colossus with every part of me.

But my unwelcome guest was not going to leave easily. It was a formidable beast.

As I faced The road to hell...I knew I was going to have to fight this psychological colossus with every part of me.

But my unwelcome guest was not going to leave easily. It was a formidable beast.

After many trials on a variety of multi-coloured capsules, I gave up on this approach. I began to do research of my own.

Talking therapies were considered to be of value, and boy did I have a lot of stories to tell. After all wasn’t it those self - same events that had gotten me to this place. Perhaps if I unburdened myself to a stranger, I might feel better about the hand I had been dealt.   

I found it challenging. I was paying for an expert to tell me what I already knew, I had to single handedly discover how to get that elephant through the loft hatch and no amount of pills or potions or chit chat was going to change the outcomes. What had to change was how I viewed these events, not as melodramas to be replayed in the hope that the outcomes may improve, but as episodes that helped in making me the person that I had become.

I was eventually given the opportunity to try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy – a not just talk but do approach - I stopped running and started to confront the elephant. Nothing bad happened, in fact the experience was remarkably beneficial. It slowly allowed me to redefine myself. I remained left of centre, as I chose to call it, often out of kilter with the rest of my peers but determined that I would return to a life beyond depression. At no point did I believe I would ever return to being the person I had been before the elephant came into the room, but now it was safely ensconsed in the loft, I knew that I could continue on the  journey that was a part of how ultimately she would become I.   

*THIS INTERVIEW WILL ALSO BE USED IN THE DOCUMENTARY, WITH MRS HOOD SPEAKING THIS ON CAMERA.*